The Bible.

Got info back from the doctor’s today about my therapy. So it’s gonna be breaking down like this. In the next 2 weeks there will be some consultations done to finalise the treatment plan.
I’ll have to have a special mask made up for when I recieve my radio therapy treatment. This is so I don’t move as there is a margin of abou 0.03mm’s for error. Don’t need them shooting the wrong piece of brain with radiation :P
This will also be accompanied with a few scans that will oin point the areas that need to be scanned, because agaian, we don’t need them frying the wrong part of my brain :) This will be taken along side a chemotherapy drug that is taken oraly. The entire course is 6 weeks long and consists of visiting the hospital 5 days of the week for the treatment. Monday to Friday with the weekends off. I may be elidgable for a new drug trail which will be going on at the same time as my treatment. It will be judt to stop the growing, or atleast slow it down. It’s going to buy me time. We not sure how much, could be months, years, or decades. But hey, I could get run over by a bus tomorrow. So there’s no point in worrying too much right ;)

Just want to thank everyone for the awesome support that they have been giving me. I will find a way to repay your kind thoughts, love and gesture. I will express my love for each of you when I can. And I will be an even more awesomer person because of you.

Right you lot.
 
Sorry if this is the first time you’ve heard from me in a few yeras, but I love you lot so much, I had to tell you. There’s no easy way to say this. Other than to say it. So here goes. Recently, I’ve been having a few brain malfunctions. Well, the results are in and it is not good news I’m afraid. I have been diagnosed with what is called a Blastomah Brain tumour. It is a stage 4 tumor, which pretty much means it will never go away. I’ve been operated on to have as much removed as possible, but this thing isn’t going to just shrivel up and die. It’s going to keep wanting to grow and fuck my shit up for me. It is never going to leave which means now that I will be having to live going from treatment to treatment. I haven’t been given any time frames or time lines or targets. It’s all going from doing one thing, then if that doesn’t work then we’ll have to try new avenues, medications and courses of treatment.
 
I’m not going down without a fight, and I’m gonna give this thing a dose it never fucking knew and will be pissed that it tried to fuck with me. For now ther course is plain and simple. in a week I have my staples out. About a week and a half after that, I’m having consultations with one of the best brain tumor specialists in the world and we’ll be talking about radio and chemotherapy. Again this treatment will not stop it, but it will attempt to keep it at bay. This will all take about 7 months for the full course to finish. Then after that, we’ll see what ever is available.
 
Kia Kaha, stay strong and I love you.
Papi.
xxx

…..what can I say….. I am losing strength and co-ordinaion in my left arm and leg. Can barely lift either of them. my left leg cannot hold my weight ang i can barely pull down on door handles with my left hand. why is this happening to me?

Biopsy is being talked about and booked on friday, so will know by then what’s going on.

We all have good days, we all have bad days. Unfortunately I’ve had the former rather than the latter.It started at 4:00am when I was woken up by my drunk friend telling me about him missing my face and wanting to kiss me on the lips. I wasn’t too happy about the whole situation. Then it just got worse. because of my condition I am losing power in my left arm and leg. I tried to roll over on the couch I was sleeping on and i didn’t have enough strength in my leg to help me to roll over. It only got worser. I needed to go to the bathroom. I nearly peed myself, because I didn’t have enough strenght in my leg to swing it around and off the couch. I couldn’t push myself up off the couch because my arm can’t support my own weight. At this very moment, I’m typing with one hand because I’ve lost all co-ordination in my hand and can’t type properly. I’ve got the body of an old man inside the body of a 25 year old. FUCK THIS SHIT. IS IT WORTH IT?

I got to go see my friend jessica today. Said she has someone who will give me  tattoos for free. Only problem is, he’s inexperienced and didn’t start drawing till he decided he wanted to tattoo. Not too confiddent about this one. might pass up the opportunity. Or i’ll have to find a real simple design. What do you lot think? I know everyone has to start somewhere, but not too sure about this situation.

Hanging out with my niece all day was awesome. She never stops talking, but her accent is awesome, so I don’t care :)

Missing Tayla extremely, and Jess, and Josh and Lee. You guys are so awesome. I miss your support. You’re smiles and your jokes!!!! Peace and love!xxx

So finally I’m back in the UK.

Saw dad for the first time in 3 years (obviously) and we both nearly started crying. It was soooooo bad.

London is exactly the same as how I left it. Nothing is different.

Got to see my 9 year old niece today too. She didn’t stop talking once! It was mental. She’s so tall now. Can’t believe how much I’ve missed her!!!

The flight was shit. Didn’t sleep at all. BULLSHIT!!!!

Plus I was lead to believe ‘The Chaperone’ would be playing on the entertainment system on the plane and it wasn’t. Again BULLSHIT!!!!! Home now. Mammy’s still driving me nuts, but hey, what you gonna do? I’m tired as hell. So I’m off to bed now.

Peace adn love!!!!

So, went for a walk in a mall in Dubai today. Went up an escalator. And this black security guard stared at me the whole way up. I walked around a bit. He followed me. Went into a few shops. He followed me. Looked at a few items of clothing. Left the store. He followed me. Went to the the bathroom. I thought I lost him.Left my stall. And there he was washing his hands and staring at me in the mirror. So I decide to be awesome and say “Can I help you?” He says “Pardon?” So I just rip out the line “I’m not the ddroid you’re looking for.” and exit the bathroom. BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That just happened!

So i’m in my hotel room in Dubai adn thought i’d better start this thing before it get too late and I, no doubt, get lazy…

I left the awesomeness that is NZ and the bussom of my awesome friends. It was sad. Even though I know I’ll be coming back. I didn’t want to leave. I had to leave some of the most awesome people in the world. They’ll be the people whose thoughts will get me through my recouperation.

So I found one of the most depressing places in the world on my journey. Thes wonderfull hole is called the Brunei Airport. It is a soul less place that does not give you cell phone coverage when you want to text your loved ones to let them know you are safe. I slept about 2.5-3 hours on my 19 hour journey. I put this down to the fact that I was wedged inbetween 2 masive arab men. This was a problem as I like to walk around on my flights, and climbing over them was a bit of an annoyance.

Dubai hasn’t really lived up to my expectations. It’s baking. Even at night. here’s no fucking sun! how is it still hot!?!?!?!? Maybe it was all that smog. Disgusting shit. Only good thing so far was that I got an awesome Adiddas/Star Wars jacket (pictures shall follow).

Also, not sure if it’s the part of the world over here, but if people could actually stare daggers. Like if daggers came out of their eyes. I would have about a million in my arms right now. Every fucking person in this massive mall today kept staring st my tattoos in disgust. Well if my awesomeness offends you, then me not ounching you in the face is offending me, so to stop all the offending I’m gonna punch you in your eye. This way i’m not being offended by punching you in the face and you’re not offended because you can’t see my tattoo’s anymore!!!

If i’m waering hospital proberty, and it’s covering my body, does that mean I’m hospital property?